Saturday, August 27, 2005

I was so exhausted again today. I was thinking that I really shouldn't have gone to see the play on a Friday night because I just can't handle getting to sleep so late. I ended up napping during the kids' naps.

In the evening, I went to a Promiseland drama team get-together at Stephen's house. It was great to see everyone, but at one point, things were a bit tense for me. For some reason, Deanna decided to read something about the difference between Chris Rock's comedy routine (he jokes about "blacks" vs. "niggers") and Bill Cosby's serious speech to the NAACP along the same lines (saying that, in some ways, blacks are causing their own rifts because of the way they speak, act, etc.) - Apparently, Bill Cosby was cut down for his comments. I wasn't entirely comfortable about the conversation in general because I'm not 100% sure how I feel about all that. But, then it seemed like the conversation was spiraling more and more toward racism - talking about the crazy names that "they" name their children, comparing the lower class blacks to rednecks - there just seemed to be more and more comments that I was feeling uncomfortable about. I finally said something - tearfully (I hate that about myself). Anyway, everyone was glad that I felt like I could confront them with that, and of course the conversation got back on track. We discussed racism and how we tend to overlook it most of the time.

Of course, then we started talking about a service at Willow about injustice and Deanna started talking about how she thought the service was just wrong. Her dislike of Bill Hybels is pretty apparent, and I guess I found myself wishing, once again, that we could have a positive group conversation and not turn toward the negative. I have to admit that I feel like a lot of the time our non-drama conversations end up feeling pretty negative. I am struggling with whether or not I should address this with Deanna.


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