Monday, October 31, 2005

This was definitely the best Halloween that we've had so far. It started off a bit shaky when Jaden woke up at 5:15, but I managed to finagle my way into staying in bed until almost 7:00 (okay, I had to get up several times, but I spent much of that time in bed).

But then the day got much better - We went to playgroup at Martha's and all the kids were in their costumes. It was just me, Martha and Marcia, but we got some great pictures of all of the kids in their Halloween costumes. Martha had gotten some crafts from the Oriental Trading Company that were really cute. The kids had lots of fun with them. Then they had little bagels with peanut butter and sprinkles (which they made themselves) and cheese. Once again, it was a big hit. It was a really fun time.

After playgroup, we came back home and Jaden just wanted to play upstairs with toys. He is really enthralled with his new Buzz Lightyear toy. In fact the kids were having so much fun playing upstairs that I just decided to bring some food up there and we ate on the floor in the hallway. We had had a lot of snacks, so I knew the kids wouldn't want a full lunch anyway. We ate raisins, goldfish crackers, raisin bran cereal and pepperoni. They liked taking bites right from the pepperoni stick. It was very cute and fun.

At naptime, they both actually took a nap - Oh happy day! I woke them both up at 4:00 and got them back into their costumes. Then the three of us sat out on the front stoop and handed out candy to the earliest trick-or-treaters. I got some cute pictures of the kids and Jaden was having fun handing out the candy. He would say, "Trick-or-treats" when he gave them the candy (he actually calls the candy "trick-or-treats") and then he would say cute things like "Have a happy Halloween!", "Have a good day!", or "Have fun!" He would sometimes say all of these things. He also liked telling people, "I'm a firefighter man!" So cute!!

He got a bit antsy waiting for Grandma to get here. He really wanted to do some trick-or-treating himself. He was so happy when she got here at 5:30. We decided that all four of us would just go a bit down the block. For some reason, I felt really badly about leaving the house with no one here to pass out candy. I was really paranoid about it. So we just went up the street to Butterfield and back down the other side. Then, my mom brought Danielle back here and fed her while I brought Jaden trick-or-treating. He was having so much fun! He kept saying, "I'm having a happy Halloween!" Of course, everyone thought he was so cute in his little firefighter costume.

Unfortunately, there was one house that had scary decorations and smoke that suddenly shot out. He got scared there and then only wanted to go to one more house. I carried him home, which was actually kind of sweet. He was hugging me and talking about how the scary man couldn't get him while I was carrying him. I felt bad that he had gotten scared and I suggested that he do a little more trick-or-treating with Grandma and he could ride in the wagon, which would keep him safe. He seemed to think that that was perfectly logical. "I'll be safe in the wagon." I also explained to him that the scary man was just pretend and that he wouldn't hurt him. Jaden said, "Yeah, he was pretend. He was just tricking me."

He went to a few more houses with Grandma, but then wanted to go with me again, so we went down one side street. By then, the trick-or-treaters were really thinning out, so I told him it was time to go home. He protested, but only a little bit.

Danielle was being really cute too. Every time a trick-or-treater would come, she would run to the door, laughing. She was loving all of the visitors!

When Jaden and I got home, my mom and I put Danielle to bed and then Jaden had dinner and also went to bed. I thought he would be exhausted and go to sleep early, but we still heard him up after 9:00. Oh boy!

After we put the kids to bed, my mom and I played another few rounds of Yahtzee. We're addicted now. My mom left at 9:30 and I didn't feel at all tired, so I decided to watch some TV and write in my journal. :-) Better go to bed soon, though - It's after 11:30 already.

Sunday, October 30, 2005

My mom and I took the kids to church today. We happened to walk in at the same time as Martha, which was nice because Michael had a Promiseland thing, so she would have been alone. The service was good. It was about how we as parents have to really instill spirituality and morality in our kids. Apparently a study was done that shows that most people believe at 13 what they will believe their entire lives (as far as God is concerned). Of course, it didn't work that way for Scott or I, but it's nice to know that we can really give our kids the opportunity to know and love God. I am so glad that Jaden is going to St. John's Lutheran. It's amazing to me the things that he's learning there. He often talks about Jesus. Anyway, the service talked about how bringing the kids to church isn't enough. We have to show our children through our faith that there is a God. The church only has 40 hours a year with our kids and we have 5,000. Sitting there, next to Martha, it made me feel good about our choice to have Martha and Michael be the guardians of our children. I know that that was the right decision.

When I picked Jaden up from Promiseland, I was appalled to hear that he had to be removed from the group because he was hitting and pulling hair. I almost didn't believe that they were talking about Jaden. They said that it was severe enough that they had to pull him out of the group and someone had to take him aside and talk to him. I was honestly shocked. I know that Jaden isn't perfect, but he's not usually the type of kid who goes around hitting other kids. I've seen him hit in anger before, but usually only once, and it's not like he does it all that often. And I've never ever seen him pull anyone's hair. On the other hand, I did see him hit a little girl at school and he has been talking a lot about hitting and kicking lately. Maybe it's been more of an issue than I realize - just not in environments when I'm there. Anyway, I talked to him about it and he seemed to understand that it was seriously bad behavior, and of course he says that he won't do it again. I told him that he wouldn't be able to go to Promiseland if he's going to hit or pull hair. When I asked him why he did it, he said, "I wanted to sit." Whatever that means. I couldn't get anything more definitive out of him. I guess I'll just have to wait and see and hope that this doesn't become a problem.

After church, we went to Chili's with Martha and Michael. Jaden was so cute. He said, "I want to go to Martha and Michael's restaurant." Ever since we went to IHOP with Martha and Michael after church that one day, he's been saying that he wants to go to "Martha and Michael's restaurant." Surprisingly, Martha said, "Actually, we'd like to go out to eat with you guys." (They usually kind of like to stick to a schedule and so we don't expect them to accept impromptu invitations really). We tried to go to IHOP, but it was really busy. Chili's was just opening, so it was perfect. It was much quieter there. We had a really nice lunch.

The kids were pretty tired. They didn't do so well with the time change - got up at 5:45 - so they were all off their schedule. So, we put them to bed almost as soon as we got home. Jaden didn't end up sleeping. But my mom and I got to play a few more games of Yahtzee. :-)

At 3:30, Danielle woke up, so we decided to give up and go to the store. We returned the coat that I had bought for Danielle (since I discovered that the 18 month coat that we got from Linda fits her pretty well). Then we went to Sams to look for Halloween candy, but they were out of the good stuff. After that, we went to Kohls and I bought a little dress for Danielle. My mom had a $10 off coupon. We also bought Jaden some toy dinosaurs that had kept him occupied the whole time that I was looking for clothes for Danielle. I distracted him while my mom bought it (we'll give it to him for Christmas).

Then, we went to Toys R Us. At school, they had a drawing for the kids who sold things out of their fundraising catalog and Jaden won a toy. But the toy was kind of made for an older child, so I decided to return it and get him something else. At first, he didn't want to give the toy up, but I convinced him that it would be better to pick something out at the toy store. At first, he was looking at dinosaurs, but then I went around the corner and saw these cool Buzz Lightyear dolls. He was really big and had lots of fun "accessories". Jaden really liked him and decided that he wanted him. At first he wanted a different one because the other one had on a different colored outfit that he liked better, but my mom and I finally convinced him to take this one. It was the same price, but came with several more things (it was like a bonus pack). It seemed so silly to get the one with less. Of course, Jaden didn't care - he just wanted the cool outfit. I would probably have just let him have it, but then he started saying, "No, I want both." Oh boy! Eventually, we settled on the one with his normal green outfit and more stuff.

He loves his Buzz Lightyear. He really likes the accessories too, so I'm glad we got that one. It has a rocket holder backpack and some other kind of backpack (with his flying wings). As soon as we got home, he wanted to go to bed because I had told him that he could play with it in bed. I finally got him to eat some carrots on the floor while he was playing, but after that, he went up to bed. Pretty funny!

Mom and I played lots more Yahtzee. She finally left at 9:30. I went straight to bed, since I had been so exhausted all day, but I still couldn't sleep. I think I fell asleep sometime around 11:30.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Mom came over this morning so that I could go to drama workshop and she's hanging out with us the whole weekend (and next weekend too!). Drama workshop was good. I did an improvisational exercise with the new guy, Kevin. It went alright, but Deanna pointed out that we were missing an essential key to the scene because we just didn't show a sense of the importance of our relationship (we were supposed to be getting married and had just broken off the engagement on the day we were getting married). It's funny how much I let that sort of thing bother me. I kept thinking about how she was right and how much better the scene could have been. I kept replaying it in my mind, changing how I had reacted to certain things. Even when I went to bed tonight, I found myself thinking about it. So silly! I just always want to do a good job and I feel some pressure in Promiseland to be the "best," which is just ridiculous and egotistical. I can't help it though. I guess it's all part of the insecurities that made acting really difficult for me in general.

Anyway, after I got back from drama workshop, we put the kids down for naps and watched some TV.

In the evening, my mom and I decided to play Yahtzee. We really had a lot of fun. We didn't want to stop. In fact, we ended up playing until almost midnight. We were saying, "Well, with the time change tonight, it's really only 11:00." Of course, I was also saying, "Yes, but Jaden's not going to know about the time change and we're going to be sorry when he wakes up at 5:30." But, we really wanted to keep playing, so we decided to take the consequences of being tired tomorrow. It's the most fun we've had together in awhile. I'm glad we played.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Today was relatively uneventful. Jaden didn't have school again, so I decided to go to the mall for lunch and to return Danielle's coat. Of course, I forgot to bring the coat! Oh well, I mostly just wanted to get out of the house with the kids. We ate (me at Taco Bell, they at McDonalds) and then we went downstairs and the kids played in the castle play area. It worked out well.

Tonight, I ordered some ribs from Papa Saverio's Pizza and had them delivered. I guess I was feeling jealous because of all the good food Scott's getting to eat in Las Vegas! :-) Jaden didn't fall asleep until late, so when the delivery man came he said, "Is he bringing me some pizza?" I thought that was pretty cute. I told him that maybe another day we could have the man come back and bring us some pizza. I watched Shine on DVD, which was a pretty good movie. It was a good way to pass the evening.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Today was a lazy day. Jaden didn't have school today because of a teacher conference and Scott's still in Las Vegas, of course, so I decided early in the day that we were just going to hang out in our pj's all day. And that we did.

It actually turned out to be a pretty fun day. Jaden discovered the game cabinet. We played his Memory game and then we "played" cards, dominoes, Yahtzee, Battleship and Othello. He actually had several other games out as well, but they didn't even have any fun pieces to play with, so I convinced him that he should play something else. It was really cute how excited he was about the games. He especially loved playing with the dominoes. We set them up and then he would "huff and puff and blow them down." Danielle was actually blowing down domino houses as well. They were pretty adorable blowing down the dominoes together.

I couldn't sleep tonight, so I called Scott (at about midnight). He was in Vegas on the "old strip". Apparently, they have a cool TV that's blocks long that plays every hour. One of the guys from work was playing 21 and they had gone to a goofy biker bar where the waitresses were really mean (that's their gimmick). Sounded like he's having fun. I'm glad that he's able to enjoy his trip. He said that the work stuff is going well - it even looks like they're going to have power in the building earlier than they were expecting to, so that's a very good thing.

Other than that, not much to say about today. It was a nice relaxing day.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Today was a busy day. They had a fall party at Jaden's school, so he got to wear his Halloween (or "Halloleen" as he calls it) costume. He was very excited to finally get to wear it. I had been letting him wear the fire fighter hat, but this is the first time that he was allowed to wear the whole costume. I also dressed Danielle up in the ladybug costume that I got from Linda. I figured it would be cute to dress her up too and I thought it would be fun to dress her up as a ladybug for the party and then put her in her doggie costume for Halloween.

Danielle and I went to the party at 10:30 AM. It was fun to see all the kids in their costumes. And Danielle seemed to really like it too. Jaden liked getting candy and fun snacks, so it was an all-around good party.

I put the kids down for their naps at 1:30 so that I could get a few things done before I had to go to Willow for a drama rehearsal. My mom was able to leave work really early so that she could babysit. I had to be at Willow by 3:30. I had a rehearsal for the drama that I'm going to be doing in the 3 year-old-room and then I had a performance of the volunteer training drama that I did last spring. The performance went really well. I was very happy with it.

I got home at about 7:45 and my mom and I watched Veronica Mars. It took a long time to watch because I had to sprinkle some Encapsolution time in there. Luckily, she's patient!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

I took the kids to the library today. We had books that were due and it's a nice way to spend the morning. We went right after Danielle's nap. Jaden and Danielle were both really good. Danielle even spent a lot less time trying to run away from me than she usually does at the library. :-)

Tonight, I had my sign language class. I had gone through most of the book and found a list of tons of words that I didn't know the signs for. Since the class is very small (it was just me for the first fifteen minutes, then one other person came and someone else came after about a half an hour), we just decided that we would go through my list of vocab. I learned a lot of new signs - hopefully I'll be able to remember them.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Scott left for Las Vegas at 7:30 tonight, but he was home all day, so that was nice. We mostly just hung out, but we also went to the bank and got the documents that we had to sign notarized. We also got a notarized letter from the bank (finally) saying that our accounts are in good standing. Now, I'll be able to send most of the docs off to get translated.

Not too much else to say about today. It was nice to just have one last day with Honey before he goes off for two weeks. :-(

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Mom slept over last night so that we could all go see Wallace and Gromit after church. Scott and I joked that since he's leaving for two weeks, we were trying to fit two weeks worth of events into the weekend. Jaden really liked the movie and Danielle was surprisingly good too. It only cost us $8 total to get into the movie! I guess their matinee price is only $2 per person at the Libertyville theatre. They only play a couple of movies, but I will definitely check to see if a movie is there before I go somewhere else!

So, we had a pretty fun day. Church was really good too. It was Willow's thirtieth anniversary celebration and they had a lot of people go up and tell their stories - basically stories about how Willow has touched their lives. Scott was really touched - he said that he had tears in his eyes pretty much the entire service.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Today was a very full day. First of all, we put the cover on the pool. Well, really, Scott put the cover on the pool - I just gave him moral support as he crawled under the pool deck. Even the thought of going under there gave me the shivers.

After the kids' nap, we carved the pumpkin! Jaden and I drew the face (well, Jaden drew a face on the back of the pumpkin and I drew the face that we were really going to cut out) and Scott cut it. Scott thought that Jaden would like to pull the pumpkin guts out, but he wanted nothing to do with it. :-) We baked the pumpkin seeds and they were SO good!

This evening, Scott and I went on a date night! Scott got ready and he looked so nice that I decided I couldn't just wear the jeans and shirt that I was planning on wearing. I remembered how when we were in Haiti, Scott kept commenting on how nice I looked in the dress I was wearing, so I decided to wear a skirt and blouse. It's funny how self-conscious I was about whether or not I looked okay.

Scott and I went to dinner at Tsukasa. We used his coworker of the month money - I thought it was really sweet that he wanted to use the money to go out to dinner with me. The dinner was good, but we had to rush out afterward because the movie was starting in just a few minutes. We went to see Flight Plan, which we both really liked. Like most typical thrillers, it had some plot holes, but it was a really enjoyable movie. But, most of all, it was just really nice to have a date night with my Honey!

Friday, October 21, 2005

Tonight, we went to Martha and Michael's house. It was so great to hang out with them again. We, of course, showed them all of our pictures and told them all about our visit to COTP. Scott and I had a bit of a tense moment when he said that he had been worried about Noah all week. Apparently, he was still having some second thoughts about the adoption, but he hadn't mentioned anything to me. I hated feeling like he wasn't talking to me about things. On the way home, we talked about it some more. And then we talked about it even MORE when we got home that night. It was a tough conversation, but one that we needed to have. I guess we just needed to talk about the fact that we're still afraid, but that we really feel like this is what God has planned for us. Scott said that he feels like this might be an answer to prayer because he has often prayed that he wants to make his family top priority and he feels like having a special needs child will almost force that to happen. I also feel like this may help me feel able to give unconditional love. I so want to be a less selfish person - I want to feel love and know that it's not there because of what I can GET from it. Of course, I love all my kids unconditionally, but it may challenge me more if I can't get that instant connection with Noah that I've had with my other kids. I just know that Noah is going to bless us in so many ways. We just have to wait and see what God has planned. After we talked, we both felt so much better and we felt a renewed commitment to follow God wherever he leads.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

I spent most of the day at the mall today. When I picked Jaden up from school, he said, "I don't want to go home." So, I thought about it for a second and said, "Okay, let's go to the store instead." That made him very happy. Funny how just a trip to the store can sound exciting to him.

We went to the mall and ate lunch and then I bought a bunch of winter clothes for Jaden, including a winter coat. JCPenney had a really good sale, so I was very excited to get him some things. By the time I bought the coat, Danielle was about ready to melt-down. She was getting really tired. So, we went home and I put the kids down for their naps. Before I put Jaden down, I wanted to have him try his new coat on. I had bought a bigger size because I wanted to make sure that it would fit him all winter, but this coat was really big! I couldn't really even get his hands to come through the arm holes. Uh oh!

So, after the kids napped, we headed back to the mall. I found the coat in a smaller size and decided that it would work better. Then I went back to Sears to buy him some snow pants (because I had gotten a $5 off coupon from my earlier shopping trip). Scott called and said that he was coming home, so I told him to meet us at the mall. It was a good thing he did because the kids were getting crazy and there's no way I would have been able to finish my shopping without him. At first, he wasn't crazy about the coat that I had gotten, much to my dismay - it had taken me so long to choose the size and I had found the cutest hat and gloves to go with it. He thought that the coat was too bulky because it basically has an inner coat and an outer coat. But once he discovered that you could take the sleeves off of the inner coat to make it a vest, he thought it was pretty cool (and versatile too). It was mostly the double sleeves that made the coat bulky. Scott said that it reminded him of A Christmas Story, where the little brother has this huge snowsuit on and can't move his arms. He falls down and can't get up! So, once we determined that we were going to keep the coat that I had bought, I found a bunch of things for Danielle as well. I spent lots of money today, but I did get a lot of nice stuff and it was a really good sale.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Scott and I had to both take Jaden to school today. Yesterday, since Scott had to take so much time out for our psych appointments, he wanted to stay at work as long as he could. So, I drove to CDW and picked him up so that we could drive to class together. After class, we went to the grocery store and then forgot to pick up my van! Oops!

So, we all piled in Scott's car and brought Jaden to school, and then Danielle and I went with him to CDW and got the van. It was actually kind of fun to bring Jaden to school and to see what their normal morning routine is.

Nothing else too exciting about today.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

So, today was our SECOND try at a psychologist appointment. Luckily, I wasn't really feeling sick anymore. I always seem to get lucky and get 24 hour bugs.

We met with Dr. Markin, who was really nice. This was SUCH a better experience than when we met with the psychiatrist. We talked with him about our history and about why we wanted to adopt. He said that it was their policy that we needed to meet with a psychiatrist as well. I have to admit, I had a quick, "Oh no, not again" thought, but Dr. Markin was so much nicer than the last doctor that it didn't seem like as much of an issue. Luckily, they were able to squeeze us in to see Dr. Walt later that same afternoon. Of course, that meant that Scott had to miss even more work, but we were really glad that they could get us in that day since Scott is going to Las Vegas next week.

We went to McDonalds and then stopped at a local farmstand and bought a pumpkin and then it was time to go back to the doctor's office. I talked to the psychiatrist myself first. I have to admit that it felt a little strange to talk to her about how I felt God led me to this adoption. She wanted to know about the details of how I felt this leading. She kept asking questions like, "So, did you actually hear God speak to you?" and "Why did you feel that you needed to adopt? Did you need to feel more special?" I was starting to think that she might say that I was crazy after all. I just tried top answer the questions as honestly as I could without making myself sound like a loon. I felt better by the end, though. She basically said that sometimes "miracles" do happen and God leads us to do things. I was so glad to hear that she didn't think I was just plain crazy. After she talked to me, she had Scott and the kids come in. She asked Scott about his reasons for going along with the adoption, and I think she just wanted to see the kids and get a gauge for the fact that they're healthy and happy. Amazingly, they were very good - neither of them had had ANY naps that day and they would both have normally been sleeping at that time.

This evening, Scott and I went to our sign language class and we were the only two people there! It was kind of fun to have our own class. We ended up spending a lot of the time talking to the woman who's kind of in charge of the program about what does and doesn't matter in the "real" world of ASL. She basically told us not to get hung up on the details of word order, etc. She said that most things are accepted and that there are no hard and fast rules. She also mentioned that even among Deaf people, there are lots of arguments about what is "right." It made me feel a lot better about our chances of being able to really communicate in ASL.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Well, it was a good thing that I decided not to go to playgroup today because I ended up being sick. When I woke up, I had really weird muscle pains. It felt at first like I had just slept wrong. I had pains in my ribcage and in my neck and in my butt!! How weird is that? As the day went on, the pains got worse. My ribs (or really, the muscles around my ribcage) hurt when I would breathe or move in certain ways. Later, in the afternoon, after I put the kids to bed, I started to feel really feverish. I was SO cold and weak and the pains got even worse. I could only lay in certain positions because otherwise breathing was way too painful. Luckily, Scott was able to come home at about 5:00 because I don't think I could have managed to get the kids out of bed. I was really a wreck at that point. It was a really strange flu.

Later in the evening, the fever broke and I was feeling MUCH better. I was still weak, but most of the pain went away. I went to bed at about 9 o'clock.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Today, after church, Scott and I worked on winterizing the pool. Scott had to go to Menards and pick up some things so that he could fix the main drain valve. The valve was broken, so the main drain line wasn't airtight. I have to admit that I wasn't looking forward to working on the pool. In order for Scott to fix the valve, Scott thought that we would need to cover the drain itself. This meant that I would have to get in the pool and cover the drain. It was chilly outside and I knew that in the pool it would be COLD! I did NOT want to go in! Luckily, while I was busy being sulky, Scott was busy devising an alternative plan. He taped a kneeling pad to the bottom of a bucket and then weighted the bucket down with rocks. Then, he tied two ropes to the bucket. We put it in the water and slowly pulled it until it was over the drain. Unfortunately, we couldn't get it to cover the drain completely. By this time, however, Scott was in the "alternative plan" mode of thinking and he determined that we could put a rag with a string in the pipe to block the water and then pull the rag out. That worked out well. Scott was able to replace the valve. Now all we have to do is get the cover on, which I'm sure won't be fun!

Danielle was acting like she was feeling kind of sick today. After we worked on the pool, I went and got her up from her nap. She just kept crying. She didn't want me to put her down at all. I had to help Jaden get dressed so that he could go outside and play with Scott for a little while, and she wouldn't stop crying at all after that. Finally, after an hour or so, she pooped and finally calmed down. The poop was pretty nasty, so I'm sure it was her stomach that was bothering her. She also had a fever earlier in the day. Guess we won't be going to playgroup tomorrow.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

I had a drama workshop this morning. Of course, everyone wanted to hear the details of our trip to Haiti. It has been so nice to have their support through all of this and to hear that they think we are really following God's plan for our family. Sometimes it's just nice to have people who can give you a sense of confirmation about what's happening in your life. They prayed over me, which felt really good. I'm really glad that I have these people to share the experience of adopting with.

My mom came over in the afternoon and we showed her our video of Noah. Jaden loves to watch it - It's really cute. In the evening, Scott and I played "soccer" with Jaden in the backyard. We had so much fun! Jaden was loving it!

Friday, October 14, 2005

I was feeling so tired today. I couldn't realy manage to do much of anything. I think that the whole trip just took everything out of me. I really just didn't feel like doing anything but vegging out and relaxing. I was still just trying to process our trip and everything that we had felt and seen.

I fell asleep at 8:30 PM and slept through the night!! Guess I really was tired.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Scott's mom came over today so that I could go to Jaden's school and hang out for the morning. It was great to see what they do every day. We went on a fall walk, but it was too cold to go far. I helped with the craft and just generally helped keep the kids doing what they were supposed to be doing. Jaden generally did a great job paying attention. And it was nice to see some of the other kids act up. :-)

After I got back from Jaden's school, Elaine stuck around for awhile so that I could get some things done for our trip. Scott got home really early (around 1:30), so we were able to work on some things together. We also attempted to winterize the pool, but Scott realized that we really needed something to cover the center drain. He ended up putting the chemicals in, but we didn't have time to do anything else because he needed to fix the main drain valve and figure out what to do about covering the drain.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Today, I spent a lot of time getting a psychologist appointment. Scott and I decided that we should just go with a psychologist instead of waiting weeks to get in with another psychiatrist. I called ComPsych (which is the program with CDW) and got referrals for a few different psychologists. Then, I called them all and managed to get an appointment with one on the 18th, which is just 5 days after we get back from our trip! I can't tell you what a relief that is. I was so worried that I would have to wait weeks and weeks to get an appointment.

Other than that, I just worked on my to do list for the trip. Getting things together, working on the babysitting instructions, etc. I can't believe we're leaving in just a couple of days!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Well, my day can pretty much be summed up by this post that I posted on the Haitian Angels board:

So, I know many of you have had "issues" with finding a psychiatrist,etc. I just thought that I would vent about the problems that I've been having with this.

First of all, my home study social worker reccommended that we get an appointment with a psychiatrist rather than a psychologist. She said that she had some people who were adopting from Russia and they decided to change the rule to only accept a psychiatrist - those people had to get their psych letter re-done when they were already halfway through the process and it held them up. This sounded like good advice considering the fact that Haiti's elections are coming up and who knows if the new people in charge might decide a psychiatrist letter is needed.

Little did I know how hard it would be to get an appointment. Most offices told me that it would be a month or two before I could get in. I found one psychologist who (after not calling me back for a week and then playing phone tag for a week) said that he could have a colleague do this for me very soon. He said in one week, or at the most, two. We got the appointment for two weeks later, but the doctor ended up being sick that day. We rescheduled for tonight (one more week later).

Well, the appointment was a disaster. Basically, the guy that I talked to hadn't told the psychiatrist anything about why we were coming. When we showed up, the doctor was downright hostile toward us - he said that he didn't understand why the Haitian government would want this and that it was ridiculous for us to want him to give us a "stamp of approval" to adopt a child. While we were sitting there, dumbstruck, he called the psychologist who had set this all up and apparently he told him that we would need to have a bunch of psychological tests done (which I know we don't need - other places had told me we could do this in one meeting). By the time we left, I was about ready to cry - the whole thing was a huge waste of the six weeks that it took me to get the appointment! I felt so stupid because I KNEW that I should have triple-checked ahead of time that they were NOT going to force us to have a bunch of tests done. The doctor said (with real attitude), "Well, you'll have to get all of these tests done and by the way, they're very expensive, but nobody ever said that adopting a child was cheap." As if we don't know that! Obviously, we'll pay what we have to pay to get our son home, but now we'll probably have to pay for this ridiculous non-appointment AND pay for another doctor (who knows if insurance will cover any of it - especially if they get a claim from two doctors).

I'm just SO frustrated because this is the last piece of paper that I need to complete my dossier (well, I'm still working on the NOTARIZED bank letter that BOTH of my banks are refusing to give me) and now it's looking like it's going to be over a month before I can get it. I don't know how you guys who have been waiting for so long can stand it. I just want to get my little boy home and start teaching him sign language. I know that every month that I am delayed in getting his dossier to Haiti is another month that he has no language to speak of.

Sorry for my very long rant. Just a bad day - I know you all understand. On the plus side, I'm going to be visiting my little sweet boy in just four days, so I really should count myself lucky.
Nicole H.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I took the kids to the library this morning. It was fun, but Danielle got a bit cranky by the time we left, since we skipped her morning nap. Plus, she wants to keep RUNNING. That's her new thing. She wants to run away from me all the time and finds it so much fun to make me chase her. That gets frustrating after awhile. I wanted to stay until 11:30 because I needed to stop at Jaden's school to drop off his fundraising orders.

Tonight we had our second sign language class at Center on Deafness. We had a sub who was Deaf, and it was great to "talk" with her. It was interesting to hear her perspective on growing up oral/signed English and then learning ASL later in life (when she was a teenager). The class was really good and we were glad to talk to her. We also talked to another woman whose daughter got a cochlear implant when she was one. This class is great because we're able to connect to people with real experience with deafness (whereas most people that we were in class with at Harper were just there to try and work toward an interpreting career or because they were curious about sign language).

Monday, October 03, 2005

I was sick today - caught the kids cold. Ugh! Actually, I felt worse last night, though, so I guess I shouldn't complain. Didn't do much today, though and I was wishing that I didn't have to do ANYTHING. :-)

Sunday, October 02, 2005

My mom came over today, so we were able to get some things done for the trip to Haiti. My mom and I did a secret shop together at Bennigans. It was nice to get to go to lunch with her. Afterwards, we went to Sams and Target to buy donation stuff for COTP. My mom ended up buying some things for Jaden and Danielle too. Oh boy!

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Today was Noah's first birthday. It was hard to know that we're missing it. We had a little birthday party for him. We just put a candle in a piece of cake and sang Happy Birthday to his picture, but it was still nice to do something. And, of course, Jaden was very excited to celebrate.

We were supposed to get together with Linda and the girls today, but Jaden was really miserable last night. He was up about 15 times in the middle of the night. One of the times, he actually threw up on me - I think it was just because he was gagging on phlegm, though. Scott slept in his room all night. And today, he ended up having a fever. We didn't want Linda's kids to get sick, especially Krista (since she just recently had her tonsils out).

So, today mostly ended up being a day at home with sick kids. I did go to drama workshop this morning, though. And we stopped at the picnic at Jaden's school for about a half an hour.